Mwisho?

Two weeks ago today I returned home to Iowa. Fourteen days is a relatively short amount of time in comparison to the 12 weeks I spent in Tanzania....yet Arusha seems like a lifetime ago. Was I even in Africa this summer? Or was it all a dream? Sometimes it seems like it was nothing more than that - a figment in my imagination.

Reverse culture shock is never a fun experience. A few days after returning home I went to Walmart (I know, walmart) to run some errands in anticipation of moving into my apartment back in Iowa City. Walking in the doors gave me a mild anxiety attack - I walked in without grabbing a cart or basket because I was in mild shock, and then became extremely flustered when I realized I had to turn around, walk back out to grab a cart and enter again. Then I spent the equivalent of my entire budget for one month in Tanzania - in two hours at Walmart. Talk about depressing. I was more than ecstatic to be welcomed back by my sorority sisters at the University of Iowa, but sitting in that room with 60 other girls going over recruitment drills was not exactly my student body back in Arusha. Sororities may not be the best environment for those recently returning from generally impoverished areas.

What is even more depressing than being re-emerged into the most superficial and materialistic culture on the planet, is the shock at how easy the adjustment is sometimes. I had my moments of mild shock, confusion and disconnectedness - but all too soon I found myself blowing money at Walmart like it was my job, buying Victoria Secret sweat suits I didn't need and getting a spray tan (or two). Really, Lily? I want to be angry at myself for jumping so readily back into my good old American life style after spending three months in a third world country, but at the same time I can't be upset. This is my life after all: I'm an American girl, born and raised in Iowa, a senior at one of the largest party schools in America and an active member of my sorority....even if I do have a soft spot for "quirky" things like Kiswahili and Africa. My life in America includes things which I know are dumb (aka spray tans) but that's the way of things I suppose so why beat myself up about it when it gives me a small amount of happiness?

In terms of other peoples reactions to my return: can anyone in Iowa name a country on the continent of Africa other than South Africa? Please? For the sake of all Americans? Can someone please point to Tanzania on a map for me?! (or even South Africa for that matter?)

I cannot begin to count the number of people who asked me, "So how was South Africa? You were in South Africa right? How was the World Cup - you went to the games right? It was great right? But really, did you like South Africa? If I ever go to South Africa - I'm totally using you as my translator! Wait, it was cold where you were? But you were in South Africa!" My god people - there are 54 countries in Africa! I understand Africa is not emphasized in American schools and that I'm way over educated about the subject in comparison to 95% of the population but if one more person asks me about my trip to South Africa....I may hit them.

I received a very nice email from my host family last week asking about my trip home, my studies and my family back in America. I had anticipated the surrealness of my expericences before leaving (aka my last blog entry) but it's a million times more intense when contact is made with those back in Tanzania after having returned home. The email woke me with a jolt - so the last three months wasn't a dream, and these people with whom I shared my everyday life and my personal experiences are still going on with their lives even though I am gone. Yet I left an imprint upon their lives and vice versa. Although I may never see these people again (whether they be Tanzanias I stayed with and befriended, foreigners I met in bars and had adventures with, or even my fellow American students whom I made lasting friendships with) I will forever have a connection with them, one I will never forget. This summer was amazing and I hope more than anything that I am able to see many of these beautiful and diverse people again in my lifetime. If not....hakuna matata kwa sababu maisha ni fupi lakini nzuri kabisa. xo